Have you ever found yourself over sharing or at the receiving end of a total stranger sharing intimate details of their lives without you even asking a question? Have you ever experienced someone going on and on about themselves only to say “wow, I feel so connected to you, you really understand me?” Have you walked away feeling totally disconnected when the other person leaves feeling like you just shared a very special moment and you really “get them?”

I have to confess, I still occasionally catch myself falling into an old pattern of explaining myself in hopes of connecting with someone, particularly when something I have said has triggered them. I have to stop, and walk my own talk about connection and realize that information or sharing more of myself isn’t going to establish connection. In fact, it can often make it worse.

When these types of dynamics surface, it’s an indication of a lack of connection and a switching into the force of expression. There can be a feeling of insecurity, or being misunderstood or simply an over emphasis on the force of expression, that drives one directional sharing. While a willingness to share and reveal oneself is vital to healthy relationships, without connection to the other person, it becomes a tsunami of energy and too much of a good thing.